Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Clearing all up
Its March now,
Just 2 more months to my exams... funny how time flies so quickly after you ORD. Never seem to have enough time ; time to rest , time to catch up , time to get back in touch with reality , time for business , time for studies..
But whats comforting is that time does heal.. Healing from brokenness, heartbreak.
Just turned 23 on 29th Jan. haha 23... remembering the days of clubbing since 16... its been a good 7 years. Much has changed, Many have changed.. I've changed.. guess what they say is true.
The only person you should strive to be is the one you were yesterday.
Business is picking up however the exams pressure.. wahh TBH its been like more than 2 years i've actually sit down and cramp stuff into this rusty head.. But i guess i gotta try.. the motivation isn't there i suppose. Different from back then.
Its either make it and go to year 2 or break and take another year... My grandma once told me : "The years of study in college is the best time of your life, study as long as you want till you feel you're ready to go into the real world"
Guess all in due time, i'll do my best since the fees are so expensive.. haha 5k a month job starts now.
Just 2 more months to my exams... funny how time flies so quickly after you ORD. Never seem to have enough time ; time to rest , time to catch up , time to get back in touch with reality , time for business , time for studies..
But whats comforting is that time does heal.. Healing from brokenness, heartbreak.
Just turned 23 on 29th Jan. haha 23... remembering the days of clubbing since 16... its been a good 7 years. Much has changed, Many have changed.. I've changed.. guess what they say is true.
The only person you should strive to be is the one you were yesterday.
Business is picking up however the exams pressure.. wahh TBH its been like more than 2 years i've actually sit down and cramp stuff into this rusty head.. But i guess i gotta try.. the motivation isn't there i suppose. Different from back then.
Its either make it and go to year 2 or break and take another year... My grandma once told me : "The years of study in college is the best time of your life, study as long as you want till you feel you're ready to go into the real world"
Guess all in due time, i'll do my best since the fees are so expensive.. haha 5k a month job starts now.
Friday, January 2, 2015
2015
Starting 2015 with being grateful ; for all the good that have happened in 2014. Thank you would be minuscule in comparison to the deep felt gratitude in my heart for all those that have given up a little in their life to make mine better/happier.
They say time is the greatest gift you can give someone. Because once its given, its gone forever. Priceless. Thank you again to those that given me that special something, to listen to my woes, my complaints, my sorrows. Of course also to share special moments of joy and happiness in my life. To those that made 2014 complete for me, you know who you are. I hope these memories will last forever and become stories you will tell those you meet in the future.
2014 has made me a much stronger person. Not so much physically sad to say but mentally and spiritually. I've learnt that things happen for a reason, you might not know the reason now but one day when the time is right, it will all make sense. Time is the only constant, it keeps on ticking and pain is temporary if you choose to let it be. I must admit the only Emotional moments of 2014 were those flashbacks of us, the familiar places, the stupid inside jokes.
"Paris Baugette = Paris Bah geh" "ShuRong the pastry" "The Robot that takes the same path everyday"
The end of NS too was another big moment. I would say is a feeling you'll have to go through the 2years to know what it means to hold that Red folder and Pink I.C with that secondary school childish face (hahaha). To those that gave me hell in the service, I can only say karma is a bitch, you might do something bad to me for the fun of it, or to show your prowess or just because you're jealous of me. It might not hit you today, but you know its there. After all, we are all human, 不要把自己的快乐建立在别人的苦痛上. They say army makes a man, I'd say army makes you see people for who they really are. Exposes you to the dark side of a person, the hypocrisy, the false pretence. Simply put, its a dog eat dog world / survival of the fittest. Big fish eats small fish. I'm so glad its finally over. Finally putting an end to that chapter.
After all that, it is really sort of a weird feeling to be back to reality. An analogy would be a movie where you watch part 1 in 2012 and continue with part 2 in 2014. To be honest sometimes i feel a little lost, like everything is so surreal. Everything outside has become so unfamiliar. Sometimes all you want to do is just to stay at home and not do or worry about anything. And its easy to fall into a limbo of such comfort.
Henceforth 2015, promise yourself to make up for the 2 years of lost time.
I realise as you get older, your new years resolution gets shorter but alot more complicated.)
Resolution
Get good grades for your university education
Keep the business running by looking for new and innovative ways of expansion
Be physically fitter than you were in 2012.
http://instagram.com/lehhnarrdsoh/
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Realising
Sometimes you have to accept that you are getting old, your body tells you that subconsciously. Tiring out easily, thats when you need to start pampering yourself. Which means its time to be successful so you can afford the luxuries in life. Focus on the important. Business, Studies and Family. I would say that i have had enough enjoyment without consequences, time to mark the next milestone, the next accolade.
People say money cant buy happiness. I'd rather cry in the comfort of a car than on the bus.
To myself, work harder to make up for lost time. Effective, efficient productive.
People say money cant buy happiness. I'd rather cry in the comfort of a car than on the bus.
To myself, work harder to make up for lost time. Effective, efficient productive.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Deciding to document it all down
29/08/2014 marks the end of my journey serving NS. Takeaways have been many, maybe now would be a right time to organise my thoughts in a place where one day I will look back and see my own growth. It has been 1 Month and 1 week since that day, how fast time flies eh? Soo much has happened that I'm afraid I might forget the details, beautiful memories, lost friendships and new experiences.
Maybe what my seniors said is true, the day you ORD you don't really feel anything. It takes awhile to sink in, say goodbye to the fear of worrying each day not being able to wake up, say goodbye to putting up with someone's nonsense just because they decide to make it their career, say goodbye to cooping yourself at home so you've enough rest to face the next days nonsense. Yes, much hatred has been accumulated over this timespan and its time to let go of it all. Time to close another chapter in my life and start a new one. I'm thankful for the friendship that I made through these hard times. My buddy and bunkmates that were there through what most will call the hardest time of their NS journey. The smoking group in IMOS, long conversations every night just to take my mind off the fact that the world is moving on with life and you are forced to put everything on hold for this nation. The other 2 NSFs that were with me through Sharkhunter training, daily travelling to Gombak for NOC, to a godforsaken place in Tuas, back to changi. To Lester and Andrew who always were there letting me know i'm not going through this alone.
Its time for me to put away the uniforms, the ranks, the mental torture.
The start of civilian life, the start of freedom is something words can't describe. That weight off your shoulders. Taking a sabbatical to Cambodia, Asia's hidden gem. With my best mate, I dare say we conquered Cambodia. Many ask, what's so nice about Cambodia? Isn't it boring and poor with nothing to do? I would say it is because most don't dare to venture out of their comfort zone, go on an adventure, get crazy and live wild,young and free. Let the pictures do the talking
Maybe what my seniors said is true, the day you ORD you don't really feel anything. It takes awhile to sink in, say goodbye to the fear of worrying each day not being able to wake up, say goodbye to putting up with someone's nonsense just because they decide to make it their career, say goodbye to cooping yourself at home so you've enough rest to face the next days nonsense. Yes, much hatred has been accumulated over this timespan and its time to let go of it all. Time to close another chapter in my life and start a new one. I'm thankful for the friendship that I made through these hard times. My buddy and bunkmates that were there through what most will call the hardest time of their NS journey. The smoking group in IMOS, long conversations every night just to take my mind off the fact that the world is moving on with life and you are forced to put everything on hold for this nation. The other 2 NSFs that were with me through Sharkhunter training, daily travelling to Gombak for NOC, to a godforsaken place in Tuas, back to changi. To Lester and Andrew who always were there letting me know i'm not going through this alone.
Its time for me to put away the uniforms, the ranks, the mental torture.
The start of civilian life, the start of freedom is something words can't describe. That weight off your shoulders. Taking a sabbatical to Cambodia, Asia's hidden gem. With my best mate, I dare say we conquered Cambodia. Many ask, what's so nice about Cambodia? Isn't it boring and poor with nothing to do? I would say it is because most don't dare to venture out of their comfort zone, go on an adventure, get crazy and live wild,young and free. Let the pictures do the talking
Friday, May 30, 2014
3 more months to the end of National Service.
A time whereby i feel that i should get in touch with my feelings I've shut out for so long. The day i enlisted 30/10/2012.
Today its 30/5/2014. Exactly 19Th Months.
Few actually do know how i truly feel inside, maybe its because of the mask i put on so often. I guess i learnt to protect myself better, to learn who to trust with my innermost insecurities, to learn how not to be vulnerable.
People say that NS is a time where a boy becomes a man. I've finally understood why. You learn to be accountable for your own actions, to put up with unreasonable demands and also to treasure the people that really listens to your endless complaints and unhappiness.
Many a times i do look back and wonder, what if it all happened differently? That i have enlisted 3 months earlier, ORD on this very date? Would you still be here with me? Would i be the person i am today? That level of maturity and calmness to handle life's obstacles and tribulations?
“The only things I regret, and the only things I'll ever regret are things I didn't do. In the end, that's what we mourn. The paths we didn't take. The people we didn't touch.”
― Scott Spencer, Endless Love
The reason why I am writing this is to remind myself, one day in the future when I've made mistakes or let anyone down that sometimes in life there's no one to pick you up but yourself. No one to fight your battles but yourself. Even if the world is against you, you have to be stronger, you yourself have to do better, to grow.
Looking back, it'll be a love story i'll always remember. One that encompasses every single aspect of love. Yearning, Happiness, Disappointments, Anger... it goes on..
To my dear friends, i know how you feel about my stubbornness..
I guess you all want me to feel better, to move on.
Yet i don't think i should. Maybe for some people they find the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I know how i felt, maybe she's the one, yet i let her go. only to regret that for the rest of my life.
"Time helps, its slow and its painful. but it works. Talking helps. going out with other people, seeing friends. And it will all seem so long ago... If you trust that its meant to be it'll be again. If its not, you will wake up one day and realise you haven't even thought of her for once, then you'll be free."
A time whereby i feel that i should get in touch with my feelings I've shut out for so long. The day i enlisted 30/10/2012.
Today its 30/5/2014. Exactly 19Th Months.
Few actually do know how i truly feel inside, maybe its because of the mask i put on so often. I guess i learnt to protect myself better, to learn who to trust with my innermost insecurities, to learn how not to be vulnerable.
People say that NS is a time where a boy becomes a man. I've finally understood why. You learn to be accountable for your own actions, to put up with unreasonable demands and also to treasure the people that really listens to your endless complaints and unhappiness.
Many a times i do look back and wonder, what if it all happened differently? That i have enlisted 3 months earlier, ORD on this very date? Would you still be here with me? Would i be the person i am today? That level of maturity and calmness to handle life's obstacles and tribulations?
“The only things I regret, and the only things I'll ever regret are things I didn't do. In the end, that's what we mourn. The paths we didn't take. The people we didn't touch.”
― Scott Spencer, Endless Love
The reason why I am writing this is to remind myself, one day in the future when I've made mistakes or let anyone down that sometimes in life there's no one to pick you up but yourself. No one to fight your battles but yourself. Even if the world is against you, you have to be stronger, you yourself have to do better, to grow.
Looking back, it'll be a love story i'll always remember. One that encompasses every single aspect of love. Yearning, Happiness, Disappointments, Anger... it goes on..
To my dear friends, i know how you feel about my stubbornness..
I guess you all want me to feel better, to move on.
Yet i don't think i should. Maybe for some people they find the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I know how i felt, maybe she's the one, yet i let her go. only to regret that for the rest of my life.
"Time helps, its slow and its painful. but it works. Talking helps. going out with other people, seeing friends. And it will all seem so long ago... If you trust that its meant to be it'll be again. If its not, you will wake up one day and realise you haven't even thought of her for once, then you'll be free."
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Only need the light when its burning low
Guess this speaks my heart~
at a moment like this. Just hold on to the memories~
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