3 more months to the end of National Service.
A time whereby i feel that i should get in touch with my feelings I've shut out for so long. The day i enlisted 30/10/2012.

Today its 30/5/2014. Exactly 19Th Months.

Few actually do know how i truly feel inside, maybe its because of the mask i put on so often. I guess i learnt to protect myself better, to learn who to trust with my innermost insecurities, to learn how not to be vulnerable.
People say that NS is a time where a boy becomes a man. I've finally understood why. You learn to be accountable for your own actions, to put up with unreasonable demands and also to treasure the people that really listens to your endless complaints and unhappiness.
Many a times i do look back and wonder, what if it all happened differently? That i have enlisted 3 months earlier, ORD on this very date? Would you still be here with me? Would i be the person i am today? That level of maturity and calmness to handle life's obstacles and tribulations?

“The only things I regret, and the only things I'll ever regret are things I didn't do. In the end, that's what we mourn. The paths we didn't take. The people we didn't touch.” 
― Scott Spencer, Endless Love

The reason why I am writing this is to remind myself, one day in the future when I've made mistakes or let anyone down that sometimes in life there's no one to pick you up but yourself. No one to fight your battles but yourself. Even if the world is against you, you have to be stronger, you yourself have to do better, to grow.

Looking back, it'll be a love story i'll always remember. One that encompasses every single aspect of love. Yearning, Happiness, Disappointments, Anger... it goes on..
To my dear friends, i know how you feel about my stubbornness..
I guess you all want me to feel better, to move on.
Yet i don't think i should. Maybe for some people they find the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I know how i felt, maybe she's the one, yet i let her go. only to regret that for the rest of my life.

"Time helps, its slow and its painful. but it works. Talking helps. going out with other people, seeing friends. And it will all seem so long ago... If you trust that its meant to be it'll  be again. If its not, you will wake up one day and realise you haven't even thought of her for once, then you'll be free."